I’m new and want to know if there is any standards to use when looking for a game. If I check server status and see a game listed, can I observe? Is it polite to enter rooms to see if they are looking for an opponent? Do I have to load a module to see if someone is looking for an opponent?
At this stage, yes you do need to load a module before looking for an opponent
My policy, personally, is not to worry about syncing to games to observe. Some time ago when VASSAL was less stable, there was a rumour going around that spectators syncing could crash a game, some of the VASL old-timers may still have that view but I think it’s largely myth.
It seems many people initiate private messages when asking for a game, I think that’s the best way; Unless you’re in the main room where you can openly ask around.